How Therapy Works: Picking The Right Therapist For You
Have you ever stared at your phone in the middle of the night, scrolling through therapist profiles and thinking, “These all look the same. How am I supposed to know who can really help me?”
You aren’t alone.
The smiling faces on Psychology Today all blend together when you’ve scrolled past the first few, and half the introductions sound the same, too. Most therapists want to come across as warm and empathetic, and don’t get me wrong, those are great things to have in a therapist. But it’s not usually all someone wants in a therapist.
So let’s break down how you can really get your feet under you in this search for a therapist that’s not just good at their job generally, but will actually know how to help you, specifically.
What better way to start off a mental health blog than by talking about the first thing clients are likely to encounter along the therapy process: how to pick a good therapist! This is the first installment in my blog series, “How Therapy Works.” If you find this post helpful, consider joining my email list to get updates as soon as they drop.
Step 1: Checking Out The Credentials
First off, a good therapist will tell you up front where they’re licensed to practice. In the United States, most therapists can only practice within certain states, so you’ll want to check and make sure the therapists you’re looking at say they can practice in your state. If you can’t find that info anywhere, that’s a good sign the person you’re looking into might not be a registered therapist. You can even go to your state’s mental health therapist Board to look up an individual therapist and check their license. For Oregon, you can find that information on the Oregon Board of Licensed Professional Counselors and Therapists.
Step 2: Knowing What You Really Want
After you’ve made sure you’re looking at therapists in your area, the next thing is for you to really think about what it is you want from therapy. If you’re looking for a quick stint that’ll give you some coping skills and get you on your way, you’re probably looking for therapists who specialize in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT for short.
Meanwhile, if you have complex trauma to process and you want to do a deep dive, you’re probably looking for something more along the lines of attachment work, psychodynamic therapy, or specialty modalities like Internal Family Systems (IFS).
Step 3: Passing The Vibe Check
Even if a therapist is Board-registered in your state and works with types of therapy you’re looking for, you may still be unsure if they’re a good fit. Maybe you’re part of the LGBTQ+ community and looking for a queer-allied therapist, or maybe you’re needing someone who can speak Spanish. This is where checking out a therapist’s “about me” page can be really helpful. You’ll get to take a deeper look at who this therapist is when they aren’t in the therapy room. At the end of the day, therapists and clients are both, well… people. The vibe check is where you get to make sure the person you’re planning to say the unsayable to is someone you can really connect with.
That said, if you’re still not 100% sure if your potential therapist is passing the vibe check after looking through their website, don’t worry! That’s what the initial consult is for. Sometimes you just need to see how someone acts in live time before you can make a solid judgement call on this kind of thing, and that’s okay. Good therapists know fit is important.
Pro Tip: There’s actually a lot of specific therapist directories for people in different minority groups. TherapyDen is a great resource for people looking for a more progressive therapist. Therapy For Black Girls is another great place to look.
Step 4: Making Sure You Can Pay
There’s also practical things to consider when looking for a therapist, like cost. A lot of therapists take insurance from different carriers, so if you want to use insurance, take a look and see if the therapist you’re considering takes your specific insurance type. But also note, insurance companies often have specific requirements for therapy in order to pay for it, like recording a specific disorder in your medical record, or limiting how many sessions you can have.
There are a lot of therapists who take on what’s called private pay clients, also known as cash-pay. These are therapists who don’t bill your insurance, and who accept payment straight from you. This makes them more expensive and can pose a barrier to people. There are some pros, though.
For one, since insurance isn’t part of the deal, there’s no limit on sessions and no requirement for specific disorders. And, most private pay therapy practices offer a sliding scale. A sliding scale is kind of like a discount you can get when you need therapy and can’t afford a therapist’s full session fee. You and the therapist determine how much sessions will cost during your initial consultation call. Every therapist does their sliding scale a little differently, so you’ll want to check their website for information and ask directly about it during your initial call.
If you don’t have insurance you want to use and know you’ll need a sliding scale option, a great place to start is Open Path Collective. Therapists on there list sliding scale fees ranging from $40 to $70 a session—way lower than most session fees normally are.
I specialize in helping folks with cPTSD navigate chronic illness and identity formation, and I use attachment theory and trauma-informed, person-centered care to do it. I can see anyone in Oregon over telehealth, and I’m planning to open an in-person space in Newberg for anyone in Yamhill county. Therapy with me involves coping skills to help you stabilize, and deeper work to help you get to the root of things.
A lot of my clients tell me they’ve gotten so good at being who everyone needs that they’re not sure anyone actually knows the real person behind the mask. I help people in those shoes build a life where you get to be fully yourself and still feel deeply connected to the people around you. If that sounds like you, it could be that I’m the therapist you’re looking for. Let’s get a consult call scheduled to find out for sure.
Picking the right therapist for you
Step 1: Checking Out The Credentials
Step 2: Knowing What You Really Want
Step 3: Passing The Vibe Check
Step 4: Making Sure You Can Pay